Ryan States

Under The River

• MP3 short clip, hi-fi play (broadband)
• MP3 download whole song, hi-fi

 

Lyric:

 

under the river

from the mainland

just another musician

come to the island

 

new to the seawater

and the rich soil

is it possible

to already feel loyal

 

I UNDERSTAND HOW WE GOT HERE

SO I KNOW I BELONG

WILL YOU EVER GIVE ME

WHAT YOU GAVE YOUR SON

 

a street lamp at midnight

casting a shadow

of cast iron ornaments

outside my window

 

new to the bedrock

new to the mountains

new to the park and her

stony fountains

 

I UNDERSTAND HOW WE GOT HERE

SO I KNOW I BELONG

WILL YOU EVER GIVE ME

WHAT YOU GAVE YOUR SON

 

under the river

from the Manhattan

just another server

can't afford the island

 

mother to the New World

cover me

mother don't shun

or drown me

 

over three centuries

of ghosts from the past

fighting for liberties

we thought would last

 

I UNDERSTAND HOW WE GOT HERE

SO I KNOW I BELONG

WILL YOU EVER GIVE ME

WHAT YOU GAVE YOUR SON

 

WHAT YOU GAVE YOUR SON

WHAT YOU GAVE YOUR SON

Immigrant (Fish Out Of Water)

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• MP3 play whole song, hi-fi (broadband)
• MP3 short clip, hi-fi play (broadband)

Immigrant is about my longing to return north and move to NYC, which I later did.

It features Bill Leary on tenor sax. Cameron Morgan and Kevin Breuner recorded the guitars remotely (Portland). Brian McRae plays a very musical drum track (Boulder). This was before I got my American Fender jazz bass. So I borrowed our old circus drummer's bass. One string was quieter than all the others. So I smashed the bass track with compression, which I normally do anyway. lol

Everything was recorded at the train except drums and 6-stringed instruments.

 

Lyric:

I was stopped by the texas state patrol / Didn’t like the sound on my radio / I guess he never heard of Heatwave / Do you like my shoes, do you wanna trade? / I was told by a man of the cloth / That it’s not good to be so soft / He didn’t approve of the love I made / Said that I was lost and that he was saved /

SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER / AT TIMES FORGET I’M NOT FROM HERE  / THE SPIRIT LONGS FOR A MUCH LARGER WORLD / BEEN WAITING FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO /

Made a vow with my co-conspirator / To emigrate up north together / Said we’d give up all our lusts  / If we let another year get the best of us  / Then we’d be where the dreamers go / Losing ourselves in the world capitol / But now he says he’s gonna ‘make it’ in Sanger / He got another place with another singer…

chorus: repeat

Gonna steal a ride if I need to / There isn’t much that I would not do / I may love someone, though it’s not fair / But I still don’t know if I’ll ever get there / Gonna quit my job for my sanity / Wake up tomorrow, I’ll be seventy / But hey that’s just another year / And by the way things look I’ll still be here /

[bridge] Oh, it can’t be so / I belong where I cannot go / Oh, didn’t cha know / We are all born alone

[sax solo]  

chorus: repeat

I Will Find My Way

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I see the sky but the air is grey

Just said goodbye to my friend today

I’m standin’ alone in this strange town

But I gotta get back to where I will be found

 

And I will find my way

 

The work I do is strange

The nature of the job has never changed

And some say that I don’t know

And to others I’m a hero

 

And I will find my way

And I will find my way

Oh I will find my way

Oh, I’ll find my way

 

I just bought another calendar

The last one ran out of days

And time goes faster and faster

Runnin’ outta time to change my ways

 

chorus: repeat

 

[guitar solo]

 

chorus: repeat

 

I see the sky but the air is grey

Just said goodbye to my friend today

 

 

I'll Give You (What You Want)

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You called with an invitation

To watch movies on your couch

Did you forgot to mention

Your wife had left the house?

 

You said that she would be working late

That we would be alone

I couldn’t believe my ears

I could never break up a happy home

 

But if you’re not happy

oooh, you should be happy

Just listen to the voice

in your heart & in your head

 

There’s no need to worry

Baby don’t worry

even if it’s the first time

anyone has said…

 

I’ll give you what you want

The love you never got

I’ll give you what you want

You never have to stop

 

I’ll give you what you want

The love you never knew

I’ll give you what you want

All I have inside for you

 

Was marriage your only option?

Were you trapped outside yourself?

Were you born into a prison?

To live as someone else?

 

That’s how it was for all of us

Except a lucky few

Have you been waiting long?

And is there anything I can do?

 

‘Cause if you’re not happy

Whoa, you should be happy

I’ll show you the things

that you have never seen

 

There’s no need to worry

Baby don’t worry

‘cause tonight you can ask me

to do anything…

 

chorus: repeat

 

[guitar solo]

 

(I’ll give you what you want)

All I have inside for you

 

Better (When You're Older)

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• MP3 short clip, hi-fi play (broadband)

This is a song about growing up gay. I wrote this ten years ago when I was first coming out. 

The lyric represents what I wish someone could have said to me when I was young and feeling isolated and alone.  

I was told life gets harder when you become an adult. But I’ve discovered that life actually "gets better when you're older". And besides, bullies call everyone a faggot, even the straight kids... :) 

 

Motivated by the recent rush of queer youth suicides I've uploaded the full song on this page so it can be heard for free. You can also get the free download. 

Suicide Hotline     

 

LYRIC

 

Paul is a boy very young

Grown-ups told him he was lucky

They said life is best when you’re a child

but it gets harder after a while

 

Clinging to the many 'I love you’s'

conditional love’s in abundance

Would they still want me if they knew?

Or will they stop saying “I love you”?

 

Childhood is easy for some

but I don’t envy the young

And trust me child

it gets better when you’re older

 

You can choose how you want to be

where you live and who you see

where you work and where you play

Life’s not so bad after you grow up...

 

His sisters never went through it

the struggles he faced everyday

It’s those kids on the playground

their parents taught them how to hate

 

Feeling like a loner

wrongly blaming himself

Big brother’s saying, “family’s forever”

but he’d take it back if he knew me better

 

Childhood is easy for some

but I don’t envy the young

And trust me child

it gets better when you’re older

 

You can choose how you want to be

where you live and who you see

where you work and where you play

Life’s not so bad after you grow up gay

 

[piano solo]

 

Life’s not so bad after you grow up gay

 

Do you still love me?

In The Game

• MP3 short clip, hi-fi play (broadband)
• MP3 download whole song, hi-fi

Have you ever gotten so close to having your dreams that you could taste it, and then having them torn away? When you feel like you're always sitting on the sidelines. 

 

Lyric:

 

Your number’s the only one that I had

When I left my home with just a bus fare

A friend of a friend of a piano player

And at least one of us wants to be with you there

 

You may not be willing but certainly able

At little expense to you

At least as seen from my little window

My window without a view

 

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

 

I can’t believe what a friend I have made

Cause you’ve done everything to help me choose

Oh wouldn’t it be nice to have your talent

You’ve given so much but not a thing I can use

 

Somebody told me that you understood

What it’s like to go it all alone

Maybe you’re spread out too thin

How you kept my hopes up wish I never picked up that phone

 

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

 

Jeremy, you moved to the east coast

Your friends never understood what mattered to you the most

Oh I think I can comprehend

And I thought “it’s my turn”, but I wasn’t even close

 

It’s only one more key to the door

Oh at little expense to you

At least as seen from my little window

My window without a view

 

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DON’T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

 

[guitar solo]

  

DON'T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DON'T YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

DO YOU SEE DESIRE IN THE BOY

THAT JUST WANTS IN THE GAME?

SEE DESIRE?